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Important Thread Homework & Math Help Thread
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RE: Homework & Math Help Thread

(05-28-2017 12:28 AM)HzJz Wrote:  @ArioBarzan Where does a paragraph start, and the other ends?

pffffffff. this is the second time I have made this mistake, it's fixed now.





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05-28-2017 12:31 AM
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SAIBA IS MY DAD Offline
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RE: Homework & Math Help Thread

That essay is too long. xD I'll just look at the first paragraph for now.

(05-28-2017 12:21 AM)ArioBarzan Wrote:  Not too long ago, the infamous Pepsi ad commercial starring Kendall Jenner, the latest example of the white corporate world brazenly borrowing from black culture, was taken down after the first day since it's debut, Making Pepsi apologise for not having hit the mark in his attempt to seemingly bring the world together. While Jenner was precisely the wrong person to star in this commercial, I believe the main problems with this ad lay in its inconsiderate approach and selfish intentions.

Let's see... Don't use the term "ad", it's an informal abbreviation. Switch to "advertisement". While we're at it, "ad commercial" seems a bit redundant. Pick one.

State Kendall Jenner's profession, like "starring fashion model Kendall Jenner".

I'm not sure how it is in english, but in portuguese we learn to never write things like "I believe", "in my opinion", "I think", etc... In other words, not to write in first person. Be the author, but not the central character of your essay.

"White corporation"? In my opinion that has somewhat an offensive tone to it, I wouldn't use that at all. You could switch that with "big corporation".

You use "his" to refer to Pepsi, it should be its (or they? Maybe one of the muricans can clear that up).

The first part of the paragraph is a little confusing to read. I feel like you could just delete this part: "the latest example of the white corporate world brazenly borrowing from black culture". Then you could explain why the ad is infamous on the second paragraph. But that's just me.

You're using "it's" instead of "its" sometimes, so watch out for that.

That's all I can think for now.





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(This post was last modified: 05-28-2017 01:29 AM by SAIBA IS MY DAD.)
05-28-2017 12:55 AM
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RE: Homework & Math Help Thread

(05-28-2017 12:55 AM)HzJz Wrote:  That essay is too long. xD I'll just look at the first paragraph for now.

(05-28-2017 12:21 AM)ArioBarzan Wrote:  Not too long ago, the infamous Pepsi ad commercial starring Kendall Jenner, the latest example of the white corporate world brazenly borrowing from black culture, was taken down after the first day since it's debut, Making Pepsi apologise for not having hit the mark in his attempt to seemingly bring the world together. While Jenner was precisely the wrong person to star in this commercial, I believe the main problems with this ad lay in its inconsiderate approach and selfish intentions.

Let's see... Don't use the term "ad", it's an informal abbreviation. Switch to "advertisement". While we're at it, "ad commercial" seems a bit redundant. Pick one.

State Kendall Jenner's profession, like "starring fashion model Kendall Jenner".

I'm not sure how it is in english, but in portuguese we learn to never write things like "I believe", "in my opinion", in other words, not to write in first person. Be the author, but not the central character of your essay.

"White corporation"? In my opinion that has somewhat an offensive tone to it, I wouldn't use that at all. You could switch that with "big corporation".

You use "his" to refer to Pepsi, it should be its (or they? Maybe one of the muricans can clear that up).

The first part of the paragraph is a little confusing to read. I feel like you could just delete this part: "the latest example of the white corporate world brazenly borrowing from black culture". Then you could explain why the ad is infamous on the second paragraph. But that's just me.

You're using "it's" instead of "its" sometimes, so watch out for that.

That's all I can think for now.

Noted. But :

I took that white corporation sentence from somewhere else and it apealed to me.

and there is so much wrong with this essay. U should not read the rest >.>

Ok so this is the new one :

Not too long ago, the infamous Pepsi advertisement starring the fashion model Kendall Jenner, the latest example of the white corporate world brazenly borrowing from black culture, was taken down after the first day since its debut, Making Pepsi apologise for not having hit the mark in its attempt to seemingly bring the world together. While Jenner was precisely the wrong person to star in this commercial, the main problems with this ad lay in its inconsiderate approach and selfish intentions.

No matter how honest a corporation may be in their nonprofit charity work, at the end of the day, their actions are nothing more than attempt to sell their brand in this vicious and somewhat unethical cycle of capitalistic globalisation. The same can be vividly seen in this commercial in which. Clearly inspired by the black lives matter movement, Pepsi Portrays a protest, that is too peaceful and passive to resonate with the hearts of people who are too familiar with how such happenings develop. What's more, the use of attractive young people, signs that do not state any relevant messages and the casting of the celebrity model Kendall Jenner further distance this picture from reality. Therefore, it is no wonder that this peiece failed to inspire any sympathy in the viewers and has been widely criticised.

Albeit we are not foreign to such exploits of the sensitive issues of our societies, this Pepsi ad saw an exceptional backfire due to how carelessly it was made. For a commercial that is trying to go beyond the boundaries that divide us, it does not hold back in depicting racial stereotypes to their fullest by showing the African Americans breakdancing on the streets and the Asian guy diligently practising with his musical instrument in solitude. One might think that is already as bad as it gets but this short clip takes things even further when the attractive caucasian supermodel is the one that saves the day at the end. While it may seem like we are being too harsh and missing the main message, the slogans "Live Bolder" and "Live for Now" give us further reason to believe that the makers of this video did not know what they were doing as such slogans will indubitably be misunderstood given how violently some recent outcries have been responded to. Hence, the lack of attention in this advertisement is indicative of the selfish intentions behind it.

Consequently, this ad is a shameless exploitation of what people care about and is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with capitalism. However, there is no such a thing as bad publicity and Pepsi is without a doubt benefiting from this controversy. In fact, it just might be that this was not a failure. Rather, this commercial was aiming to get people to join the conversation from the start, just like what was written on one of the banners in that video. Whether it is the former or the other, this video is now a part of history.





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(This post was last modified: 05-28-2017 02:12 AM by من رفتم.)
05-28-2017 01:27 AM
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RE: Homework & Math Help Thread

Why don't you make it about how peeps shouldn't care about a lousy? You should try pissing in the wind sometimes @ArioBarzan It's refreshing.





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05-28-2017 02:23 AM
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RE: Homework & Math Help Thread

(05-28-2017 02:23 AM)pele10brazil Wrote:  Why don't you make it about how peeps shouldn't care about a lousy? You should try pissing in the wind sometimes @ArioBarzan It's refreshing.

I dont understand that sentence. what do U mean by peeps shouldnt care about a lousy? If U R refering to the ad being unimportand and there being more important stuff we could talk about, that cannot be done since this essay wants to test how much involved we had been in our class when we talked about topics like, sexism, globalization, racism and ... . Like I couldnt even make myself care when I saw the ad. all I could think about after watching that ad was how stupid it was and how pfffff, fuck kendall I was feeling.





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05-28-2017 02:29 AM
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RE: Homework & Math Help Thread

lousy ad* Sorry!





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05-28-2017 02:40 AM
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